Cohabiting In A Tiny Space
Bonjour, Internet! 😉
Living with someone else
I get asked a lot what it's like to live in our home with my significant other. People often tell me they can't imagine living in such a small space, nonetheless with someone else! I usually laugh and reply that Tim and I don't take up much room, so we do alright. I don't find that we are in each other's way at all. The once tricky things like being in the kitchen at the same time or getting ready in the bathroom in the morning are second nature to us now. We work with and around each other.
To be honest, living in a small space with Tim wasn't even really a thought for me. Not to be sappy and gross, but we haven't gotten sick of each other. Basically from the day we met, we have been inseparable. We moved into our tiny home only a year into our relationship. It was a huge leap, going from two normal-sized homes to one tiny home, but we did it together and didn't look back. I know I speak for both of us when I say it was the best decision we have made for ourselves.
It's not all sunshine and rainbows
This is not to say we don't argue. We are a normal human couple with normal problems. We fight about small stuff sometimes. It happens. Tim told me once that when cold weather comes around, porcupines huddle together for warmth. Sometimes they prick each other and move away. But then the warmth draws them back together and they huddle again, knowing that they might get pricked. That's us, he said. We're the porcupines. No matter what our fights are about, the one thing we try to always do is communicate. This has not always been a strong suit for me, but living in smaller quarters forces me out of my comfort zone and into communicating with my partner. I am quickly learning to identify my feelings and the source of them, and a lot of the time our fights come about because we don't fully understand each other. At the end of every day we love each other and want to make each other happy, and sometimes things get lost in translation.
You get what you give
You'll find that if you really want something to work, you will work hard on it. Tim and I work hard on our relationship. We do everything we can to grow together, to understand and be understood. Truly, this is the key. I suck at talking about my feelings, and Tim is really good at it. If I want to make our relationship work, I have to get better at saying how I feel. So I work on it. On top of that, there really isn't anywhere to hide during an argument. Our home is one room. No closed doors between us, no shutting each other out. If we have something to say, we say it. There is no room in our home or our lives for secrecy. Our fights and resolutions have an immediacy that they didn't have in the big house. If I'm upset with Tim, I can't walk away and stew. If I walk away in our home, I'm still within 15 feet of Tim. Lol. Mostly, the biggest takeaway from living tiny with Tim is that this is not just my life anymore, it's our life. I had to learn to act accordingly. And I am. It's a process.
Taking space
We do have to get creative when taking personal time. No matter how much you love someone, taking time for yourself is important. Since we have such easy access to nature, this isn't a huge issue. One of us will hang out in the hammock or go kayaking for the afternoon. Working out is a form of self-care for me. Tim enjoys doing yoga. I love meeting friends for patio time or dinner. Tim always has some sort of project going on for our home. Even just taking a walk over to the creek to visit our gator buddy counts as personal time. Since there isn't much space, there's not much to do inside. We don't have cable so that almost eliminates couch time. This pushes us to spend time with nature during our individual "me" time, which is kind of like a built-in bonus.
All in all
Overall, living with your boo in a tiny space inspires you to be more open and honest than living with someone in a big home. There is less room for secrets or unspoken words. Our fights get resolved more quickly, and we are learning a lot about each other and ourselves. We are more intentional when taking time for ourselves. And we get to begin and end every day together. I wouldn't have it any other way.
-Sam
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